Here is The Push-Me Pull-You Dance, one of the Three Most Damaging Relationship Dances. The fear of abandonment is the driving force this dance. I first identified this dance while working with couples to improve their relationship. Whenever we would get on track, one of them would make a move in this dance, and suddenly, his or her partner would fall to pieces.
Because being left is such a primal fear, many people regress or take action without thinking when faced with the threat of abandonment. Once you understand the moves in this dance, you can be free of these highly manipulative, unconscious moves.
(I recommend you PRINT out this long chapter and highlight the behaviors you have used in the past. People who change fastest are those who identify their damaging patterns and review that information three times over a three week period. Go for it! You can stop falling into these dances, if choose to do the work.)