One of the six boundary problem styles is called Enmeshed. When you use the Enmeshed boundary problem style, you are over involved with and over identified with others. Like a chameleon, your identity changes as you eagerly take on your significant other’s needs, dreams and desires. The Enmeshed mantra is “You and I are one – and who we are is YOU!”
Because it’s hard for you to tolerate feeling alone or separate, you feel anxious when there is disagreement. You are the ultimate “yes man”. While some people might find this appealing, others find it annoying.
Your need for constant connection becomes a driving force in your life. Because of this you don’t realize how quickly you change who you are. You feel the pain of others as if it was your own. You are susceptible to diving into The Rescuer Role – trying to fix and save others. Because of this, is very important that you read “The Dance Of Drama” a book chapter on this website. You must stop doing this dance if you want to have healthy long-term relationships.
What you get done reading that book chapter, be sure to read the very detailed chapter on all six of the boundary problem styles. It is important to see how your styles impact your relationships.