The Intrusive Boundary Problem Style

One of the six boundary problem styles is Intrusive. Now, you and I both know that you are just a lively, assertive, forthright person. But, you’ve been stepping on other people’s feet and don’t even know it. If you don’t learn to see how you come across to others and how to identify other people’s boundary styles, you are going to keep alienating people and creating relationship problems.

Some people love your interactive style, so it can be confusing when you use the exact same style with another person or in a different situation and get negative reactions. When you’re using Intrusive, you are not picking up how your conversational style conflicts with others styles. Some people need a slower pace, longer pauses or quieter responses. You are not picking up on how your physical interactive style conflicts with others styles. Some people need more physical space, less touching or more time alone.

Once in a while, out of the blue, someone blows up at you. She says you have been bullying her, controlling her or overpowering her. You feel blindsided because you had no idea that, for her, there has been an ongoing problem. She never brought it up or at least not in a way that you would know it. She was using “The Invisible Boundary Problem Style”. Yikes! It is important that you learn all six boundary problem styles so you stop falling into these damaging patterns. Read about all six styles here. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself as well.

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