One of the six boundary problem styles is called Rigid. When you use Rigid, you are definitive and harsh about what is right and wrong. You are uncompromising, and sometimes even defensive, if someone wants to explore an alternative idea. Your unyielding approach makes it hard for others to share more vulnerable or personal things with you. At some point, people might stop trying to work together with you on projects or future plans. Instead, they give up, go away or build resentments.
Here is the full chapter on the six boundary problem styles from my upcoming book on boundaries. Read the detailed list and see what pertains to you. You might be surprised.
Many people who use “The Firm Boundary Solution Style”, a very useful style of relating, accidentally over use it or use it with the wrong person. When they do this, this useful style gets perceived as Rigid. Using Firm is great but you better know when to not use it.
Some people use “The Invisible Boundary Problem Style” over and over again, by not speaking up for what they want. One day they hit their limit. With a triggered reaction, they suddenly start setting black and white limits and using ultimatums. They have just shifted gears from using Invisible to using Rigid. Is this you? Do you over-time give and over accommodate until you finally have had enough? Read about all six of these styles so you will have a way to identify them in yourself and others.